It’s been a little quiet here lately; life happened. I’ve been busy keeping my ship from sinking, dumping out water while it’s still spilling in.
Being a wife and mom is hard enough, but adding chronic illness to the mix makes it even harder. I’m the ship with a chronic disease, and holes keep springing with new side effects pouring the water in.
One issue I’ve had since my open heart surgery has been brain fog. Brain fog can be annoying, frustrating, and embarrassing when you forget something again or can’t recall that word you’re trying to think of.
Brain fog can cause one or all of these:
Fuzzy thinking
Problems with short or long term memory
Problems with working memory
Problems with concentration and focus
Problems thinking of the right word or using the right word
Problems with numbers or math
As I’m writing this, I struggle to find my words or remembering where I saw that quote—writer’s block on a whole new level when your words are in a blender inside your mind.
In the midst of all this, I have found some things that have helped me start a routine to keep my mind working and help ease some of the symptoms. Like I said above, I’m still struggling daily; this is something to do continually.
Reading is not only a great way to ease stress, but it also helps with memory, along with increasing your vocabulary. You can learn more about reading and memory here.
Try a new hobby or pick up an old one. We are trying to challenge our brains. Instead of a hobby, I signed up for a free summer college class. I’ve been able to see my hard work paying off. You could also do crossword puzzles, regular puzzles, play strategy games, etc.
Self-care is so important in managing our mental health and stress. Stress is hard to avoid, mainly when the pressure is caused by your own body failing you. For me, hot Epsom salts baths with my essential oils are a go-to, and I’ve been using Balance, a guided meditation app. If your self-care is exercise, shopping, thrifting, crafting, whatever it is, make time for yourself.
If you’re curious about which essential oils are good for mental clarity and alertness, you came to the right place. Peppermint, Rosemary, Intune Focus Blend, and Frankincense can also help you regain focus while working. You can learn more here:
You’re walking through the grocery store (or browsing online for pick-up items like me), you are going about your normal routine. Then you stumble into the cleaning section with the fragrance section right there and we all love our homes to smell good. So it’s easy to add all the air fresheners, plug-ins, scented candles, scented wax warmers, and dare I say those drug store “essential oils” – which give all essential oils a bad name -to your cart.
Once your home you spray down your house, light your candles, etc you may realize you have a headache but of course, that’s from you being tired or <insert excuse here>. The reality is that in our attempts to make our home smell good we are releasing hundreds of different toxic chemicals into the air we breathe. The same air our kids, husband, wife, pets, etc are breathing too.
There are better ways to scent your home. Goodbyes don’t always have to be hard, I doubt you’ll even miss those synthetic fragrances. And if your anything like me I found that now I can’t stand the “fake” smell and I’m much more sensitive to the effects.
The Better Way
Plants have been used since the beginning of time for medicinal and religious purposes. We can thank Clove for helping numb tooth pain for dental procedures, Yarrow and Clary Sage we’re used during childbirth.
Centuries of salves, teas, and tinctures uses passed down through the generations. With the help of modern technology we’ve been able to study these plants and make medicines like aspirin, morphine, codeine, opium, and many more.
Anyone can use the power of nature to improve their home air quality, seriously it’s so easy. DoTerra created the Aroma Essentials Collection bringing together 10 powerhouse essential oils and blends that are tried and true for creating a fresh, clean environment that smells incredible.
Pure essential oils are unadulterated and incredibly potent, so it only requires a few drops of oil. Drops of essential oils go much further than synthetic fragrances. Depending on usage this kit could last 6 months to a year! A whole year without toxic scents wafting through your home should make you feel wonderful. You have taken a huge step in reducing the toxic load to you and your family.
As a mom with a chronic illness, I don’t need to add anything extra to my toxic load. I’ve used these oils for 5 years now and I’ve seen the power of plants in action, On Guard, for example, smells like Christmas to me but it also helps boost our immune system. In our home, medicinal and western medicine combine- it doesn’t have to be a this or that, but working together can make a bigger impact on our overall health and wellness goals.
“Cause you never think that the last time- is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don’t.”
This quote stopped me immediately and I re-read it multiple times. Flashes of the “last’s” swirling through my brain like a movie reel.
The last time I spoke to a loved one, the last time I picked up my youngest daughter, the last time I was normal- instead of living with chronic illness, depression, and anxiety.
As a teenager, I was introduced to death. In 2005 my cousin was killed in a freak accident at 25, in 2007 I lost my aunt, and both of my grandparents.
2007/2008 was my senior year in high school, one morning I walked out of our house and due to straight line winds it was destroyed. When I returned home, there was nothing left. I think God was making me stronger for the tragedy that would come next.
It was July, hot as hell in Tennessee. We were visiting my brother, his wife and my niece before he deployed to Afghanistan again. This was the last time I seen my brother alive. He was KIA on August 15th, 2009- 15 days before his daughter’s first birthday.
Sgt. Jonathon Travis Rape 04/09/84-08/15/09
In 2019 I found out after sudden and progressive symptoms- that I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve and had a 4.6 aneurysm, on July 15th I was headed for Open Heart Surgery. My life was saved and I fully believe it was a miracle, but this was also the year that changed everything for me physically.
Two weeks before my surgery I was cleared to travel with my family to Gulf Shores for vacation. On this trip was the last time I picked up my youngest daughter- I should have soaked it all in. I thought life would return to normal after my surgery but that’s not how my story would play out.
Following my surgery, I have been diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder and fibromyalgia. It’s been over 2 years since I’ve had a day where I wasn’t in any pain. And I can’t remember the last time I felt truly like myself.
Picture of me and my youngest daughter.
I write this, not for pity. I write this to remind myself of the struggles I’ve endured, the strength I didn’t know I had, and to remember that any moment could be the last.
February is the month of love. Women and moms everywhere give so much love to others that we often forget to love on ourselves. Taking a shower and running errands alone, while great, isn’t self care.
When we think of Women’s health most of us assume that we’ve got it covered, because we have our yearly paps, breast exams/mammograms, and take a multi-vitamin. Most of us are so consumed with everyday life that we fail to stop and listen to our bodies, if we did stop, there’s so much we can learn.
2 years ago I noticed my body changing, I went to my doctors and at first they all said the same things. It’s normal for a mom to be tired, depression can cause these symptoms you’re having. I was prescribed anti-depression medicines and sent on my way, however as my symptoms progressed I had to learn how to be my own advocate and take control over my health.
My surgeon told me that I was very in-tune with my body, listening to my instincts and not giving up when doctors dismissed me had saved my life. At 29 years old I discovered I had a bicuspid aortic valve and a 4.9cm aneurysm, I was in complete heart failure. – Check out my Open Heart Surgery Post if you want a more detailed story –
Cardiovascular Diseases continue to be a deadly threat for women, The American Heart Association’s Go Red For Women is a platform to bring awareness to Womens heart health. As a heart patient myself I am passionate about bringing not only awareness to Womens heart health but, also showing how we can incorporate healthy habits plus natural options to better care for our hearts.
If you’re building a house, one of the first things you do is build a foundation which will hold up your house. The same is true for our bodies, we need a proper foundation to build our way to a healthier you. ( I say “you” as in, collective you, I’m speaking to myself too.) To help build a strong foundation for our health, high quality supplements are a good place to start.
Meet doTerra’s number one selling product, Life Long Vitality Supplements. Backed by a 30 day money back guarantee these supplements are the building blocks for our foundation and the start of healthier habits.
These essential oils may also be beneficial:
Cinnamon Bark and Cassia essential oils can promote healthy circulatory and cardiovascular function, as well as Marjoram and Copaiba. Take 1-2 drops of oil into a veggie capsule and take internally, if heart health is a concern for you. And it should concern you, especially as a woman. You can learn more about heart health and essential oils here.
doTerra’s wellness pyramid is the basis for everyday health, including your heart health. Reducing toxic load. rest and managing stress can be achieved with the Life Long Vitality supplements and essential oils.
Informed self care is so important, like I mentioned earlier you have to become your own health advocate especially if you feel like something is off in your body. Proactive medical care is important for catching things sooner rather than later, like getting your yearly physical, Pap smear, Mammogram, Colonoscopies, etc can hopefully catch things before they become an even bigger issue.
When I first started to get sick I felt like a fraud to be preaching a healthy lifestyle with essential oils while my own health was spiraling out of control. I still have the same feelings and insecurities pop up but, I know that my healthcare is better when I incorporate natural alternatives along with traditional medicine. It doesn’t have to be a this or that, but we can mesh them together to take control over our health and our lives.
This February I challenge you to start building your foundation to a healthy lifestyle and schedule those check-up appointments. I have to remind myself often that I can’t pour from an empty cup.
Ready for a complete overhaul of your health? Doterra has released a new enrollment kit for just that- The Foundational Habits Enrollment Kit. This kit includes:
Chocolate protein powder
Doterra fiber
Doterra greens
Doterra On Guard 5ml- protects against environmental and seasonal threats
Doterra Balance 5ml- Creates a sense of calm and tranquility
Frankincense 5ml- Supports healthy cellular, immune, nervous, and digestive function when taken internally. When diffused or inhaled it promotes feelings of peace, relaxation, satisfaction and overall wellness.
Lemon 5ml- Provides cleansing and digestive benefits and supports healthy respiratory function.
Lavender 5ml- Swiss army knife of oils, calms and relaxes when taken internally, use in a bath, massage or inhale/diffuse to ease stress and help sleep.
Deep Blue Rub- This is one of my most used products. This rub helps soothe tired and achy muscles.
Doterra Lifelong Vitality Pack
TerraZyme and PB Assist- Supports digestion and optimizes your gastrointestinal tract.
There are TONS of enrollment kits so if this one doesn’t work, please reach out. I’d love to help you find the perfect products for your unique needs.
My next favorite ”Get better soon!”, well meaning maybe but, that’s not how chronic illness works.
I’ve seen blog posts on this topic, I’ve seen peoples thoughts on social media, and now have first-hand experience on how many judge-y assholes there are in the world.
Last year before Covid turned the world upside down, I was sitting at the dollar general – waiting for it to open after dropping the kids off at school. I was in my minivan waiting, parked in a handicap spot close to the door. There were a few others in their cars and some standing by the door.
As I watched the worker prepare to unlock the doors, I got out of my van and was greeted with ”Looking healthy today” with his head cocked to the side as if he was scorning me for using that parking place. He quickly apologized when I informed him I was a mere 3 months post op from open heart surgery and was still having issues.
The sorry wasn’t sincere, he got caught being a judgmental ass. This wasn’t my last encounter with peoples whispers and side glances and Im completely confident it will happen again.
If you’re not familiar with invisible illness, it includes an array of illnesses and diseases such as Multiple Sclerosis, CIDP, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Connective Tissue Disorders, Dysautonomia, and many others. A quick google search can give you even more information on the different types of invisible illnesses.
Life is chaotic bills need paid, laundry is piling up, the kids have school work, the dog needs food, medicine needs picked up, there’s doctors appointments all time. As mom’s, as parents we know this is all hard. Add in a chronic illness and it becomes even harder, I say this not in comparaion but to remind everyone – even myself that everyone is fighting some sort of battle we know nothing about.
A new year is coming and with it I wish with my entire broken heart that we could all stop the sudden judgements and just be kind to one another.
My husband always says “work smarter, not harder” and even though I’m rolling my eyes at all of his dad jokes this one means more to me now. When I have limited amount of spoons I have to get creative with my methods- as long as the end goal is accomplished it doesn’t matter how it gets done, right!? So here’s 10 little things that help make my life just a little bit easier, I hope it helps you too.
Most grocery stores offer curbside pickup and grocery delivery (Hello Kroger and Instacart). Being able to sit on the couch or lay in bed to grocery shop not only saves time, money and sanity for any mom but for the chronically ill mom it can mean saving valuable “spoons”.
Not sure what I mean by spoons? Check out this graphic.
Lists! Brain fog isn’t fun, neither is forgetting to refill the medicines or pay the water bill. As part of my nightly routine I write down a quick list of things I need and WANT to do, I can then prioritize my tasks based on that day’s activities or errands.
Cooking and cleaning generally take up a lot of my spoons, but I have found ways to make it easier for myself. I quickly jot down in my notebook meal ideas for the week, these vary based on sales etc. Once I have a general idea of our meals, I can then order our groceries online. Having a plan makes my weeks so much easier!
I have a Pinterest board FULL of slow cooker recipes and they get even more use now, it doesn’t get any easier than throwing everything in one pot and 4-8 hours later dinners done.
Having healthy snacks options is a must, especially with kids, they are always hungry. Batch cooking is where its at. I can spend a day or so whipping up things, chopping veggies, etc. then I have pre-prepped for easy to grab snacks and ingredients for dinners.
I’ve been slowly organizing and decluttering our house as I feel like it. When we don’t have as much clutter and “stuff” taking up our space, the less cleaning I need to do. Its already hard enough to keep our house clean with a husband, 2 kids and a 60-pound dog.
We can’t do it all anymore, and its OK. My kids have shocked me on how well they can wash dishes, sweep and fold laundry. Having help allows me to spend more time playing Xbox or board games with them later.
Before my health took this unexpected turn, I was a sewing fanatic, my kids had matching outfits for every occasion. I was extra, I know. I can’t sew like I used to now but it’s still an important part of my life. Blocking out time to print patterns and cut fabric on one day, so I can have projects ready to sew on other days. Find ways to keep doing what you love, even if you must find new ways to do them.
Just because your body wont physically keep up doesn’t mean you have to sit idle in front of the TV on those bad days. Distractions can be a huge help during flare ups, reading or learning a new skill like painting, knitting, embroidery, writing or blogging can offer you something else to focus on.
Give yourself grace. This is hard, life is hard, parenting is hard, marriage is hard. There’s no handbook for any of it, then you throw in chronic illness on top of it. Ask for help, say no more often, you’ve got this momma.
Do you have any life hacks/tricks you wish someone would have shared sooner? Drop them in the comments!
